Thanks for your help Barry. I am comfortable digging around code, but I'm no programmer, so your last two options are over my head if I have to write the changes myself. I did check product-list.tpl to see how the add to cart and quick view buttons were coded, but this is too complicated for me to change myself, unfortunately...
But good to know it's possible after all, with some rewriting. It's a little bit unfortunate that I will have to contact a developer for this then. I can't believe I'm the only one who thinks this behaviour is utterly unlogical and wants it changed?